WHY DO WE EMOTIONALLY EAT? |

Unfortunately, the types of food associated with emotional eating whether that be for joy or sadness tend to be the hedonic, more calorie dense and nutrient void varieties. And this can be the recipe for disaster if we lose control at these times. I haven’t seen anyone find comfort or joy from eating a bag of carrots?!!

FOOD is amazing and NO food should get a bad name, but we have unfortunately grown up where the not so nutritious foods are used as a reward for being good, celebrating an event or, if you’re ill or injured. Conversely, they are also used in times of sadness and stress.

Life these days is busy, stressful and full of temptation, as we live in this convenience food era.

It’s no wonder we have this emotional attachment to it. It can evoke happiness, reward, comfort and fun. Our emotions can get the better of us at times and it can become a vicious cycle of self sabotage and in the end loathing. Taking us further from our goals.

Think about it…..Good times

Birthdays = cake, chocolates
Promotions = meals out/takeaway/alcohol
Good news = Alcohol/Food
Christmas = Two weeks drinking and gluttony
New Year = We get drunk!

Flip the celebrations on the head to bad news…

Death – A wake with food
Losing your job – commiserate with alcohol
Stress with family – same as above

You get the gist of what I’m saying.

Food can be a distraction from the cause of the problem, a comfort, like having a nice cuddle. But it only distracts you from the root of your emotion. You’re still left with the original problem to deal with AND now the added over eating and tip of the scales and dissatisfaction when you look in the mirror leads to a cycle of self-sabotage.

OUR BRAIN IS A COMPLICATED BIT OF KIT

Our grey matter loooves a quick solution to a problem, it will want to create short cuts, a way to make you feel good. It will find that solution, remember how you felt when you found that solution and urge you to find that solution again!

It will remember the rush of comfort (endorphins) you felt, even if it was short lived and press the trigger to instruct you to do it again next time!

Felt awful after a day at work…
Ate chocolate = Felt better

Your brain will map out that neural pathway for that same reward (what it thinks you need, but actually you could do without) for that emotion next time.

The urge will be so strong that you kinda feel like you are not in control, as you reach for that food you find comfort in.

It can go something like this.....

MONDAY – “Right, I’m all over it this week, this is THE WEEK. I’m going to stick to the plan 100%”

TUESDAY – Hooray, I did one day, I feel fantastic. I went to the gym, hit 10k steps, an drank 2L of water – Nailed it”

WEDNESDAY (Hump Day) – Oh crap, I’ve had such a stressful day at work, kids are not going to bed, I’m shattered….but I’m staying strong I’m off to the gym and I’ve eaten well. I’ll just have one biscuit.

THURSDAY – Nope, day worse than yesterday. Husband/partner not home tonight, so I have to put the kids to bed AND I can’t go to the gym. I’ll have a bar of chocolate and glass of wine once the kids are in bed. I’ve trained two days in a row and eaten well. So you do and….It doesn’t disappoint, it tastes amazing. You feel great and feel so much better now”

FRIDAY – Oh crap, why did I eat that chocolate and have that glass of wine last night. The kids were actually fine and my boss, well, she’s just stressed too?! I feel so guilty, I’m going to have to starve at work today, that’ll fix it. I have to punish myself. OOOOOH it’s someones birthday at work, oh well, I’ve ruined my week, I’ll just have some.

FRIDAY EVE – Balls to the diet, it’s the weekend now. I’ll have a takeaway and glass of wine (or bottle) I can always start on Monday?!!!!!

HOW CAN YOU STOP?

1. Don't cut out food groups or follow a strict diet plan

There is no such thing as a bad food, just a bad diet!!!

What happens when you restrict and deprive yourself…? You want it more and more. You can’t stop thinking about it.

Don’t label foods as “Good” or “Bad” Thinking you are naughty or bad is just a recipe for disaster. Be kind with your thoughts.

Try and create a health relationship with food. By doing this you will remove the stress and actually be less likely to binge.

Nothing has to be off limits just within reason and in a balanced way.

Just pick healthier options most of the time. So, if you really want the less nutritious food and you have chosen good foods beforehand and will do afterwards, have it.

Don’t have a constant battle with yourself, it’s just not healthy!

You have the freedom to eat what you wan really, BUT you really know that if you eat cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner, it really won’t do you any favours.

2. Plan your meals

Now, I’m not some boring, no life PT telling you to meal prep, pack your meals in Tupperware and have chicken and broccoli Monday through to Sunday. NO WAY! All I mean is, plan out your chosen meals or at least your main meals for the week.

“Fail to plan and prepare to fail”

Have healthy options pre-planned. Plenty of protein, veggies, some fruit, some healthy fats and good quality carbs to stabilize blood sugar levels and satiety.

Have back ups in the freezer. Maybe a healthy ready meal or some left overs you have frozen for those hunger panics, which we can all experience.

Have an idea where you want to factor in some cake, wine, chocolate and look forward to it because you know you can.

3. Learn to let the emotion in instead of trying to block it out or replace that emotion - Hippy I know!

A comfort eaters brain will want to fight that emotional pain with the fix of the biscuits, cake, wine etc, as it does not like physical or emotional pain.

So, as soon as it gets wind of sadness, stress, anger, it will set off that alarm bell and trigger the response of indulging/over eating to try and make you feel better.

Instead try this…..

Just stop a minute ans realise how you are feeling and accept it, no matter how hard it is. Don’t fight it, don’t spiral, just sit and reflect.

Have a chat with yourself like you’re talking to a friend or family member. We can often give the best advice to them, so why not try listening to you in that moment.

You could allow yourself to actually to have that biscuit, cake, wine, beer whatever it maybe but the rule you set yourself is to wait 10-20 mins.

This can be a great time to find out whether you actually need it. By doing this, you aren’t depriving yourself, causing you to think about it more, you can eat it but you just have to wait a bit.

This can often reduce that strong craving and you may not actually want it anymore. OR you have waited and you do still want it, so have it guilt-free.

The goal here is to slow down that trigger effect. Train you brain to wait, thinking about why you are feeling how you do. Do you need food to solve the problem or could you do something else to see you through the emotion?

Train your brain to accept the emotion not repel and try and fix it with food. By practicing this, your emotional eating will not be so powerful.

You will gain a sense of control, calmness and awareness. If you still end up eating it but you have followed your new rule, then you are more in control than previously and just keep practicing.

Look for other ways..

Taking a bath, reading a book, calling a friend for a chat, looking up on Pinterest for new workout ideas. Shopping for some new gym clothes can all help the urge to pass.

4. Learn to love yourself - (I know, again, very hippy!)

Like when I was saying about letting the reason for your binge in, you also have to learn that if you do lose that self control and do go AWOL, then you have to give yourself a break.

Don’t beat yourself up if things go wrong. Emotions attached to emotional eating are guilt, worry, stress and the big one SHAME.

No one gets its right 100% of the time. We ALL mess up, even these insta-famous models. They are massively nutritionally deprived. They have to have cheat meals. Even the label of a “cheat meal” does not sit well with me, as again it labels the food as bad, wrong, shameful.

Every time you do mess up, learn from it, reflect why and you’ll get a step closer to being more in control of it next time.

5. Set goals. Keep nice and busy and have things to look forward to

Life should be exciting and happy. Yes, there will be tough times that’s natural. Surround yourself with positive people and the need to seek comfort food will often fade away.

You are in control of how you want to feel. Don’t like your job – change it.
Don’t like your hairstyle or colour – change it. Do things you enjoy, delete people on Facebook from 20 years ago, who you only knew from school but would never dream of speaking to if you met in the street. You are in charge of your life.

Set a goal….
Is it a birthday, wedding, another event. Decide how you would like to look and feel at that event and take mini steps to get there. Break it down into little steps.

The first inch, the first pound and keep consistent.

Get excited. Get fired up. Get going!

6. Do something you enjoy to reduce stress

Life is stressful, not going to lie but by having some go to methods which work for you at these times can help massively.

Ask yourself, what approach other than food, helps you?

A bath

A good walk with the dog
A lie down in silence on the bed for 10 mins
A call to a friend
A gym class or gym time in general
Going for a run outside
Baking (Good meals)
Meditation (Head Space is a good app)
Listening to music
Yoga class
Keeping a food diary or general diary
Having an aspiring quote or pic on your phone

Understanding the trigger and having a strategy other than food WILL keep you closer to your goals and happier. You will need some willpower yes but you can do it.

7. Appreciating you! Self Love - (again very Hippy but so true)

This one can be HARD if you constantly beat yourself up and have low self esteem! If you’re a busy Mum or busy family Man, we can often neglect ourselves BUT the ripple effect of appreciating yourself can be huge.

Now, applying this does not have to be expensive or lavish. Here’s some examples

Making time to go out with girl friends/friends
Regular exercise
Some quiet time
Sleep (massive one)
Eating Well
Having a date night with your loved one
Spending quality time with your children
Having nice bubble bath with candles
Having your nails done
Hair cut

Often by doing things like the above can have a knock on effect to your weight loss and healthy lifestyle goals.

Celebrate the GOOD about yourself. It’s not vain it’s actually healthy for the mind.

So have a go at all the above, save and re-read at your leisure (there is a lot to take in)

If you need my help, I’m a message away.